Fuck 'Em if They Can't Take a Joke

I probably should wait to write this after I've let the dust settle...but as today's title suggests, I couldn't give 2 cents with a healthy helping of damn. (I'm starving). Anyway as I sit here on the 6:19 with my Blackberry in my right hand and a Becks in the left (Trap)...Common on the iPod, I realized something with all of the progess we as humans have made in medicine, technology, etc. No one has developed a cure for stupidity (Fuck the common cold, benadryl highs are the shit, right before you pass out). I mean I would pay top dollar so I can slip a mickey into someones coffee after a dumb move, unprofessonal comment at the wrong time. Instantly the tasteless/odorless tablet dissolves...bringing the jackass, sorry, patient or victim (for nearly terminal takers, cause you're 2 steps from wrapping your hands around their neck but you saw Scared Straight and heard from your cousin jail ain't cool) is hit with a 24 hour dose of common sense (Pun shameless connected, effortless actually...). Damn you say. Where can you get this you say...well just for what it would cost to text message via Cingular without a rate plan to vote for your favorite American Idol...again and again once again, you can free yourself from that stupid person in your life. Like your manager, landlord, that person on the train who won't move over cause he's saving those seats for his imaginary friends...yes this can all be your's for 3 installments of...get the fuck out of here...if was that easy then none of us would have jobs. Actually I was just bored riding home on the 6:19, sorry no magic pill.

Side Effects: In some cases the test subjects actually grew a brain.

Peace yall and have a safe 4th!!!

The Shizznit

For my first of many mobile post I'm going to keep it short...

Ijust finished seeing Batman...it was the shit.

Today my Blackberry arrived...it is the shit.

Almost finished reading The Da Vinchi code...it's the shit.

That's all I have to say.

Peace

Today is Monday...What Else is New

After reading this, I scrolled through my address book on my cell...nope nothing jumping off here.

Back to regularily scheduled programming:

Today is of course, if you haven't noticed it by now is indeed Monday. You know the day after Sunday. If there was any doubt in this most noteworthy account...check the blog date. Or if that wasn't good enough for the skeptics...too bad...you maybe too far gone at this point and I got to keep it moving.

I think Monday's are the epitome of will power testing. Monday is usually the gut tester to see if you can cut-it for the rest of the week. Cause if you can't hack it on Monday, just call out for the rest of the week...but I will spare you the rudimentary details of today, as you too...have your own story that desires to be backed by chin music...the violin.

Let's talk about this past weekend, I like Saturday better anyway:

Back Again:

I made it over to the NuYorican Poets Cafe...realized I missed that place. Every 3rd Saturday of the month is sort of a breath of fresh being inhaled into the blackened lungs of Hip-Hop. Here you won't find the countless barrige of emcees...or better yet entertainers viving for your attention by distracting you by blinding you with a ridiculously sized chain. Or rehashing the same material you heard last week on the radio, with that particularly suspect hook that plays for 25 Hours of the day. No at the NuYorican you are getting the un-cut raw...depending on the night...maybe even hi-potent.

This night in question was on the level of opening your windows during the summer months, to let the warm breeze settle in. Not too hot...not too cold. Just right. As usual, I found the need...or given birth right to step on stage...and let the rythmn hit em. Honestly when I freestyle in some cases becomes an outer body experince where I myself am sitting in the crowd and watch myself elevate to higher state of mind. The things that I some time find myself saying sometimes later make say, damn...I said that. Especially that night, cause it had been about 4 months since I stepped on stage, or even brought it from the top...well I almost forgot the radio appreance...ok so its been 3 months...sue me.

When I first had interest in writting and spitting...I almost entirely did everthing from off the top, nothing was ever written. There is this odd pardox in the Hip-Hop scene...People who are true to hip-hop...HIP-HOP...not artist imtating a movie character that people might somehow relate to, oppose to being oneself...appreiate the artform of bringing it from out of thin air. While the other half, well in opinion concentrate too heavyily on what could of easily been touched by a ghost (Ghost Writer) to judge their soul decision on ones greatness, or lack there of skillz. You see when I get into a "Cipher"...I have a full expectation of illest shit that is realivant to the current place and time (Snapping on someones shoes is a good one)...damn that written shit. I can't stand hearing what you wrote two weeks ago and you want to go head up...any true emcee...listens, waits, then oblitherates those oh so carefully scripted bars...that get melt down like gold at some flea market.

Not to say I haven't lost a battle here and there...but damn I can't even remember...stepping into a battle with written. I can remember sharpening up my skillz on the campus of Willy P in the late 90's. That's when I ate and slept hip-hop...then went to class. I miss that time...cause I knew that around every corner, tree, classroom door, etc. lied a potential opprotunity to flex the vocal and hypothalumus. Now its TPS Reports.

How Could I Forget to Mention

I made mention to this to Ms. Thing via an IM conversation a few days ago:

Monday:

I came in to work on my favorite day of the week, to see my favorite sight when walking up to my desk, my voicemail light was on. *Damn* I remember thinking to myself What the hell done happen already...fuck. So reluctantly I logged in to retreive my messages that usually sound like possible death threats because someone forgot a damn password or some bullshit.

Welcome to Audix...*touch tones* You have one new message, One, that's it...must not be that bad...yet Pressed 2 to hear the message...when I heard the voice, I recognized it instantly...and it sent an eerie chill up my spine.

Hi this is , I hope you remember me. If you do I need to speak with you, please call me. My number is...speak to you later

I thought to myself, remember you...I'm trying to forget your damn ass. Too bad I was thinking out loud, therefore my co-worker heard me. (I had to pick him up off the floor from laughing so damn hard...) To my surprise it was the voice of an ex-girlfriend who I haven't spoken to in almost a year...what the fuck you want.

You see our relationship abrutly came to an end when I accused her of cheating...with good reasoning. It started again, then ended again when I apparently "caught" her cheating...and that was it. Of course she flipped on me and said I was paranoid and other bullshit...but, my gut knew what the fuck was up, even after her sorry ass story she tried to tell me...when I say sorry...I mean sooooooooooorry. The damn story didn't even remotely make sense, especially when home boy was right there. For one nanosecond...the idea to straight turn a bad situation to an even worse situation came. Just before I reacted...I felt calm ass hell and knew this chick wasn't worth me going to jail. Not even, not me..not over her.

Then suddenly I could hear the gears begin to chrun as I tried to think of possible reasons why she was calling me after a year and after all that drama...there was nothing left to discuss. Pondered...hope she doesn't try to say she's having my baby (Wouldn't put it past her)...but if that was the case, statue of limitation reached it's end a long time ago...unless I got some strong ass, and very determined swimmers. Was she going to tell me she has...well I keep myself checked out...so it wasn't that. Damn what the hell could she want from me now...

I called her while I was at work, cause I figured if she pissed me off I could go yell at my manager and all the venting is done and I go home with a clear head. (I could just go in there and yell at him anyway) She didn't answer...nothing new there. I didn't want her to have my cell number so about a half hour later I called from my cell blocking my caller ID (A page from her book), she didn't answer...damn. Then I remembered that she had my work cell phone number so I called her from there (I figured if she flipped her wig and started blowing up my phone...again (Mind you she's the one that cheated but would call my phone and not say shit and hang up) I would just turn it off...cause its not on most of the time...and if it got real bad...I'd tell my manager that this person has been harrassing me...he would call the damn police and saying she threaten his life or something (He loves calling the cops on people). I left a message.

Later that night:
Phone Rings

Hello?

Hi Dom it's

Hey, how are you?

I'm doing ok, you?

I'm doing well

I guess you're wondering why I called you the other day after a year, right?

Ahhh...yeah

Well I have been trying to get in contact with you for a while now. And I can understand if you hang up the phone, but there is something that I must say to you...I want to apologize for what I did, you didn't deserve it was pretty fucked up.

Holy Shit!!!...get the fuck out of here

Minutes Later...

I don't expect you to accept my apology, but I had to get all that off of my chest, and I don't blame you if you curse me out right now or hang up...

I cut her short...

I accept your apology...really...I do. I can't walk around hating or carrying negative energy like that...it's counterproductive and bad for me. I can tell you meant it, because you didn't have to reach out at all.

"Zen-like motion"

The conversation carried on for a few minutes more as she told me about somethings that happened to her in the last year...Karma is a motherfucker...believe that.

As easy as it would be to do...I can't even stand up and pump my chest out after hearing what has happened to her to say you get what you deserve...that shit ain't right. Doesn't prove or do anything...not a damn thing. I just was taken back for a second that she actually reached out to apologize like that...never had that happen before. But I think the experience was good for the soul...both of ours.

-But we ain't going be pals or no shit like that.

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait...

Today marked day 4 of waiting for my Blackberry 7200g and headset to come of off back order. Patiently I have been waiting for my new tool (toy) to arrive so I can get cracking on re-orginization of time...not to mention stay in touch with the 9 to 5 which is increasingly being filled with comments like "Didn't you get my e-mail". And it's usually followed by "No...it's only 9:01. My Windows PC must of been out late last night and is suffering from a hangover. It appears to be sensitive to light at this point, therefore it is taking longer than its usual 10 minutes to turn on". 9 times out of 10, the person (my manager, who maybe supplementing certain lacking abilities by arriving to work at 7 AM and proceeding to send me emails that I won't see for 2 hours and 10 minutes) sent the email long before my arrival. I made a concious effort in requesting a company issued Blackberry...with was encountered by an emphatic No (No is never the final answer to me, just a step closer to a yes)

So where did that leave me...well maybe you should get a little more background on the subject. A few months ago I recieved a promotion with my current employer. The new position in laymens terms, has made me the official Project Manager for my department. As most project managers are...I've become the central point of paperwork hell. Every project requires at least 5 to 10 page write up on what you want to do...that's even before approval...then there are RFPs...Proposals...SOWs...Diagrams...Spreadsheets...and most importantly...needless yet unavoidable and still needed emails. And all that before the actual plan is even written. Now currently I have 10 projects running. (Not to mention the regular things that I have to take care of in the office) I'm getting closer to 30 and I will embrace it with open arms...but my memory isn't as sharp as it was a meer 5 years ago...so it is very easy to forget, overlook a meeting because finally at 2:30 I manage to sneak away for lunch. So you can imagine...the shit is tough. A few weeks ago I made mention of this to my manager...his response...no, because he was turned down for one...therefore so would I (He was turned down due to the adfore mentioned possiblity of supplementing lacking abilities...he don't do shit. Also it seems that the VP, who makes the decision has a professional dislike of him...you should see my manager getting yelled at...shit...). Basically this was phase one of hating on the kid.

Phase two went like this: Another manager in my immediate group, noticed that I was not possesion of a Blackberry and wondered why...she handles the purchacing of the devices. I explained to her my manager's response to my request. She laughed...and called my manager a big baby because he didn't want me to have what he didn't. (Wouldn't be the first time either). She asked me to send her an email stating my justification of the device. (Ex: I was in Tulsa, OK...yes Tulsa. Working on a project...my manager was fully aware of my physical whereabouts...he was aware that my access to email would be limited due to that fact that I was there to shutdown the office...why was he emailing me critical information for the project without letting me know. Then a day later asking me did I get the emails that were sent...hmmm...NO MOTHERF**KER!!!) You know I love to stir up controversey, especially when someone is underestimating my skill and desire to get something or something done...so basically the email was straight heat...there was no way I wouldn't recieve approval...WRONG!!!! The email made it to my manager's inbox, by way of the VP asking him why isn't doing his job (Nothing new there) by delegating the request for devices via another manager. Supposely my manager was asked by the VP do I need the Blackberry...he said without any hesitation or even the concideration of a hesitation...no. (Notice the trend here). Then he runs over to manager who asked me to officially relay my request and said that I have no business need for it (Please review this entire entry and tell me if there is a need or not, cause he lost me there). Then he went a step forward and proceeded as he normally does on a constant without any break to properly fix his jaw...puts his foot in his mouth by saying get this (I laugh now...then I had to by coxed not to go toe to toe with his ass before I even had my coffee), "I can't prove it, but he wants it because he has something going on the side". BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He must think I'm a complete blithering, bumbling, two steps from a vegatated state type of an idiot. Why in the hell would I have something going on and use corporate email to carry it out...hmmm...could it be cause he is doing it (Another story). He knows what my salary is, I'm not rich...but I'm not broke either, especially after invoking my new budget...I don't have to rub the ATM anymore and hope some money comes out, and now I can actually look at the recepit when its printed. I mean really...maybe there is a little All Black people use company items for personal use...wouldn't surprise me coming from him...him the one who constantly throws out the fact that his wife is Dominican...and always addresses his "black" friends as My Black Friend... Now before you all begin The March on Jersey...yes he is that stupid...so don't mind him...I don't for the most part.

After hearing how he attempted to pull the wind from my sails...I called up good ole Cingular. For those who don't know...Cingular has been noted for its poor customer service...and the some of the time when you call...you know more than they do about services/plans/equipment. Anyway I decided that I was going to purchase the phone on my own...and yes use it for my personal use...cause I got business to take care of (Watch for updates). The first person I spoke to was very plesant and seemed knowledgeable of the Blackberry and was able to answer my questions...then she reminded me an ass wipping I was suppose to serve a few months ago...when I chaged my number almost a year ago at a local store I was told that the old acct would be closed out cleanly and no early termination fee would be applied...remember what I said about Cingular...Months later I recieved a Collection Notice (Don't act like you don't know what that is) on my old account for the early term...Summabitch. My first notion was to go down to the store and roll on this cat for the dough...cause I would of just kept the old number. Anyway, so I was told I can't get another line because of this...basically I was told...you guessed it...no. Yet I can pay the old acct off. I did so...and payed my current phone bill as well...so I didn't owe the bastards shit. I called back.. then went through the process again...armmed with confirmation numbers...like now what do you got to say...they said yes (Finally, a yes)...but they would need a $300 Deposit...damn...now I had to really think about this...so I told myself...in a very adult manner...just wait until payday.

Well I couldn't wait that long...I called back a few days later to see if there was any change, if not I was going to bite the bullet and drop the 3 bill deposit for the second line. This time I spoke with probably one of the most honest customer care professional every...when she didn't know the answer...she sadi she didn't know...of course ther first time she said that...I busted out laughing...and told her honesty is all too welcomed. I explained to her all that I had went to just to get to the point I was at on the phone with...she was cracking the hell up too...so when she got response from the Credit Dept...they wanted me to put up a $500 Deposit now...WTF...She said the same. Then she read the note attached...I have no account with Cingular...We both crack the fu*k up...I told her if that's the case, Cingular owes me a shit load of money. So she jumped on the phone with the Credit Dept...I don't what she said...but all I know is when she came back on the line...my deposit was dropped to $0. Then she mentioned that she was 8 mos. pregnant and not feeling well. And it was hotter dem a mofo...I'm pretty sure they caught the fury...damn I wish I could of heard the conversation.

Now...after all that reading you just did...my Blackberry is still not here as its on backorder...but I can wait, cause that shit took some doing. So it must be worth it. Plus I was able to save $70 on top of all that

BTW: To Muffin...I'll be able to blog from it, so there will be more than a once-a-month post. *SLAM BACK...from off the top turnbuckle* LMAO

Fire

I know it's been a minute since I posted on a regular (consistant to be more exact) basis...but I think it's time to take it to a new level...introducing...No Frills v2.0. Notice the difference...no...reminds you of Windows 98 to XP...same windows but more colors (Notice the new pic in color). Yet I've been saying for the longest I need to get back to the bread and butter...writting...lucky all of you (or few) that visit get to see (or quickly change the site to cnn.com which you have now bookmarked since MJ's case went to delibiration) an artist (a real one not just a sign) at work...including things that other artist don't revel until VH-1 comes knocking on their door. You so many (or so little) get to see what it is like to behind the scenes (not your monitor) of a career in the making (or breaking...good thing I went to school)...but in all seriousness it's about having fun. And for all of those who mistakingly arrived at this site because I said:{ I'm Rick James Bitch } I apologize I've been watching Chappelle Show Season 2, to the point I damn near know all the words to all the skits. Don't hate me...blame Goggle.

Now to the fire I betcha in five sylablles you'll reply no mas
Straight shut ya down like the millienum to DOS
Now here's the other five
A 10 round strategy wouldn't survive
If you were my opponent
With one strand of my DNA
And tried to clone it
My cells would react simular to White Blood Cells
Fighting off infection more like Police Action
Or what Bush calls Iraqi
Stand back
From this spontaneous combustible
Liqiud fluid words that spawn more lines than fables from Aseop and Heacliff Huxtible
That seem suitble for the situation
Nobody's laughing
They're too busy gasping
When they realize the corelation
Between the words
Mastered and Skills
Time and Build
The truth is reveled
9 has it locked like Sloman Shield
By time the referee reaches 10...

[You Fill in the blank]